The ghost is me—absent by three

The presence of my earbud annoyed me, and as I yanked it off my ear, I realised someone was actually talking. YouTube’s library of ghost stories helps me sail through a job I despise. Although I won’t eat anyone else's food. Mine is that good. What a trap I’ve laid for myself. But it’s official. Around the time I have to make dinner, my brain checks out.

Also hanging is my to-do list. I have half the list on paper; the other half is stuck in a long line of traffic, waiting for the green light of my pen. I haven't quite decided if I want to do any of the things that nestle in my head. Perhaps I’d be happier if I did, but then there’d be more things in the queue. For someone who believes there is just too much to do in life, this sometimes feels like a curse.

My most productive year had three walls of my bedroom covered with notes I wrote to myself. At my lowest point, I’d scribbled I want to be the most important speaker in the room. One sentence on white A4. I wrote it when I was alone—no friends or family support, the only note out of dozens I still remember.

I never became the most important speaker in the room. But I did become the most important voice in my life. I did find my voice after burying it.

The note worked.